Most self-confident people do not experience difficulty with being assertive – true or false? Most people would not hesitate answering ‘true.’ But are self-confident people always assertive when they need to be? When more is at stake, sometimes we are not as assertive as we should or need to be.

Consider your dearest friends/family members or perhaps a valuable client, a temperamental boss, or an employee or associate that we are fond of. Is there someone special to us that over the course of time we have become entrenched in a relationship triangle of sorts, whereby they seem to always get what they want and we get to accept that as being the way it is? 

If this sounds familiar to you, it may be time to review the nine rules of assertion. Depending on your unique circumstance, you may find a new tool to help you end an unhealthy cycle with someone you interact with, and direct your efforts to creating a wholesome “win-win” solution for both of you. To begin, let us consider our universal rights.

I have right to:

1.       Proper Selfishness: respect myself – who I am/what I do; recognize my own individual needs;  ask for what I want; make clear ‘I’ statement about how I feel & what I think.

2.       Allow myself to make mistakes.

3.       Change my mind, if I choose.

4.       Ask for ‘thinking it over time.’

5.       Allow myself to enjoy my successes

6.       Recognize that I am not responsible for the behaviour of other adults.

7.       Respect people and expect the same in return.

8.       Ask for clarification if I don’t understand.

9.       Deal with others without being dependent on them for approval.